EXT. UNDER AN OVERPASS - DAY Two slackers, Ben and Suzie, an Asian male and a Cauasian female in their teens, are busy spraying graffiti on the walls of an overpass with their backs to us. Ben notices Suzie's design. BEN Suzie. What is that all about? SUZIE The Simian represents the oppressed and overcommericialized youth of America, and the bud it's smoking pushes for the inevitable legalization of marijuana. The eye patch is 'cause I dig pirates. BEN Uh, yeah, I know. It's my tag. I created it. That's blantant... SUZIE Cop, cop. A police cruiser drives slowly by the road, as OFFICER DEGAS eyes the duo suspiciously. Ben and Suzie are looking innocent. Once the cruiser pass, they resume spraypainting. EXT. STREET - DAY Ben and Suzie are both standing by the driver's side of a parked car in a dimly lit street. SUZIE Ain't nobody here but us chickens. Ben throws a brick through the window, and unlocks the car from outside. INT. CAR - DAY Ben hurriedly lays on the floor of the car, looking under the wheel for the right wire to cut.. BEN A pirate monkey smoking a joint. How is that not plagiarism? SUZIE Are you working or are you talking? Finding it yet? BEN No. It's under the hood. Ben throws Suzie the wire cutters and pops the hood while Suzie moves to the front of the car. SUZIE It's mere coincidence that my tag bears a slight resemblance to one of yours. Completely unintentional. Suzie cuts the wire. The car alarm ceases. BEN So you're gonna change it? SUZIE No. Took me months to come up with that. BEN You did not. What, you're going to drive too? EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET - DAY Ben and Suzie and walking down the street. SUZIE Shakespeare. A lot of his works were derived from previously published books and such, and he did so because he thought those stories were good, so he made it his own and improved upon it. You should be honored that I took something on yours, and made it even better. BEN Dude was a writer. That's different. SUZIE So what now, you want royalties? Everytime I use my tag, you get a dime or something? I mean, c'mon Ben, you're just being a... (Suzie runs into a passerby.) Oh, sorry about that. You okay? The passerby gives a thumbs up, walks on. Ben and Suzie continue walking. BEN Actually, a "Conceived By" credit would be nice. You know, doesn't have to be real big, like at the bottom or something. How much did we... SUZIE 'Bout fourty-five, fifty bucks. EXT. HOUSE - DAY Ben is fiddling with paperclips in the keyhole, trying to break into the house. Suzie keeps watch. SUZIE I won't do it. It's stupid. You're not getting credit for squat. BEN Well, then, Honey, you can't use that tag, unless proper accreditation is awarded. Gotta give credit when credit's due. A cop car pulls into view. Two cops casually get out of their cars and approaches the duo. SUZIE Man, you can be such a... OFFICER DEGAS Hi kids. Suzie sees the Degas and manages to run, prompting Cop #2 to give chase. Ben attempts to run but trips over himself and falls face first into the ground. OFFICER DEGAS Your shoelaces are untied. Ben looks up, and OFFICER #2 has a struggling Suzie in custody. SUZIE Just so you know, I'm only involved in this because of inadequate after-school activities, in addition to a poor family environment. COP #2 Uh huh. BEN (to Degas.) Would it help if I said I was a locksmith? OFFICER DEGAS Get up, kid. EXT. POLICE CRUISER - DAY The cops assist the duo getting into the car, and close the doors. SUZIE This break-in was conceived by Ben. It was all him. I'm just a patsy. BEN Oh, thank you, Suzie. Feeling your love right now. SUZIE Just giving credit when credit's due. END

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Hamster Wheel Productions, 2001
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